Yes, culture shock is very difficult. Yes, studying abroad is frightening. Yes, submitting all the forms makes it seem impossible.
But was it the best decision and experience of my life? Yes, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I don't want to seem bitter or... well, anything else negative. This semester has been a complete change from last semester. It feels like I finally can be myself again. Sometimes I feel like others can see it too. I feel like I actually have healthy relationships supporting my life right now, my health has improved, and I have been more optimistic. I'm also exploring new feelings of trust in the good of people.
I know some of the people closest to me in my life have helped me reach this point, but I feel like my study abroad has helped too. Even though coming back was a struggle and painful even, it's like it was growing pains. I went through extensive growth and the pain was fitting too that. I think even just experiences aside, I learned a lot from the people of Scotland. They were a model of who I wanted to be. Everyone I met was open, welcoming, hardworking, smiling and optimistic, personable, and reserved. You know how sometimes certain memories just stick out in your mind, like snapshots if you will? Well when I think of the people of Scotland, my mind flickers through snapshots of the lovely people I met and their warm smiles. I wonder if they know that they each had an impact on me, that they each set examples for who and how I want to be. I still can't wait to go back to my new found home. But I'm also doing great things here. I'll leave you with this picture of Loch Garry. For me it seems fitting to inspire hope for the new day to come.
