Still a Battle

     So it's been a long time since I've posted anything.  To be honest, I thought I was done.  I thought I had said all there was to say about my trip.  However, there still is more that needs to be said.  The cultural adjustment back to the United States has been excruciatingly hard this semester.  I think a lot of it is because I felt so at home in Scotland.  It felt more like home than home to me.  I was the most relaxed there than I have ever been in my life.  I met amazing people, had amazing experiences.  And now I'm back here.  This small town where I feel like I don't fit in.  Perhaps this is part of reverse culture shock, but it hasn't gone away.  It's in fact gotten worse.  I don't even feel like I fit in with this college anymore.  I have to go back.  Not just want to, but really have to.  I'm not happy here.  This semester has been such a struggle.  In addition, I haven't gotten the support I need.  And maybe it's because I don't know how to ask for it.
     Take my sorority sisters for example.  I can go with a group of them out, whether it's shopping or hanging a banner on campus.  But yet, I don't say a single word, and none of them even notice that I'm not included.  Lately it feels like they're just tearing me down.  Whether it's criticizing my beliefs, making comments about how I look, not helping me when I need it, or even just ignoring me, it's taken a toll on me.  And since I live in the house, it's very hard to escape it.  Perhaps they don't mean to be malicious but they have no idea how much I'm battling.
     That combined with the cultural dissonance has made each day a struggle.  It feels so lonely, and is definitely painful.  It's taken a physical toll on me this semester too, I've been frequently ill.  Some support from my friends would be nice, but so far the only things I have gotten from them have been destructive.  The best I can do right now is to drown myself in my work to get through this semester, and dream about the day I get to go back to my discovered home.

Scallop Fishing on Loch Carron

Stirling

In Honor of the Olympics

Edinburgh, Scotland

A Close in Edinburgh

A Picnic At Stirling Bridge

A View From The National Wallace Monument

Settling Back In

So... This is a weird feeling.  I'm back in the States and have been home for just a couple of days.  The jet lag isn't bad at all; I already feel over it.  However, I feel like my entire month in Scotland was a dream or like it was only a day long.  It kind of feels like I never left.  Yet I have so many experiences, new friends, and much more knowledge about the world and even myself from this trip.  I do miss Scotland, and in particular Stirling.  And I do want to go back.  Nay, I will go back.
I keep catching myself talking non-stop about Scotland.  I'm trying to limit that, it must be annoying to others.  I went to see Brave Sunday night; that was a nice way to re-enter the States.  It's been a slightly difficult transition, however.  I want to make meals that aren't available, talk to people who are now in different states than I, and go out to places that are now about 3,600 miles away.
But to help fix this, I plan on spending time reflecting on my trip.  Part of the way I will do this will be through filling picture frames and creating scrapbooks of my adventures.  I also have been keeping in touch with my closest friends from the trip on an almost daily basis.
Any time I start to feel sad that I'm back home, I just remember how much my journey has given to me.
 
Now, I'm stronger than I could have ever imagined myself being.

Flat 39

(Even though I'm back in the States, I plan on adding photos still to this blog.  I might be a little obsessed with my camera; I have so many photos to share!)

Saying Goodbye...

We're heading home today.  Already.

I don't know how I feel about this.  I'm excited to get home, eat my favorite meals, see family, share stories, etc.  But I fell in love with Scotland, especially Stirling.  I really love this town.  It's so small but still has a big city feel.  Even in the rain everything is beautiful.

The first one of my flatmates left just not too long ago at 5:30AM.  All of us in our flat got up together to take down our Scottish flag in our living room.

Now we just have to finish getting ready and one of my flatmates and I will be leaving next.

I'm definitely going to miss it here, but I'm sure I'll find a way back.

At the top of the National Wallace Monument

Becoming British

"Dani... Was that a British accent?"

YESSSS! The student from the University of Mississippi (or Ole Miss Mike as we affectionately distinguish him from the other Michaels on campus) called me out on my slight speech change.

Okay, so I haven't picked up a British accent. Unfortunately.

However, my speech has changed in a strange way.  It is noticeable in the way I ask questions.  The inflection is different.  Instead of raising my tone at the end of a question like we do in America, I've started raising it just near the end (unintentionally).

So like in the States we would say:
"Can I get the door for YOU?" (With YOU being the part where we raise the pitch.)

But I find myself saying it like how it would be in the United Kingdom:
"Can I get the DOOR for you?" (With DOOR receiving the raised pitch.)

It's a small difference.  But still is kind of fun.  I've found other students who have experienced the same change that I have.  We'll see who notices when I come home.

A Little Bit Of Theory

      So as I promised in the last post, this post will be applying Lewis's Culture Model to my experiences from Scotland, Ireland, and of course the United States.  It seemed somewhat fitting to examine cultures compared to the United States on the Fourth of July... For those of you who are familiar with this leadership theory, bear with me while I try to do a brief introduction to this model I will be using.  Hopefully Google Images will be able to help me out a little.

Above is the Lewis Model to describe different countries' cultures.  He separates them by putting each country on three spectrums between linear-active, multi-active, and reactive.  We can find Scotland in the UK bubble, located on the bottom left, linear-active corner, one space towards reactive.  The United States is also near the linear-active corner, but rather one space up towards multi-active.  Ireland is farthest away from the linear-active corner compared to the United Kingdom or the United States.  Almost halfway between multi-active and linear-active on the spectrum is where you'll find Ireland.

This small chart (also from Google Images) briefly describes each of the cultural categories Lewis has created.  I could explain more of the differences if I had my textbook with me, but this will have to do for the time being.  

     Now on to my experiences.  As a student from the United States, studying in the UK is not very far from the US on the Lewis Model.  I have to look closely for differences in concepts of time, speech, listening, and etc.  There are obvious cultural differences (prawn cocktail flavored potato crisps, anyone?)  but Lewis address subtler things in his work.  

     From my experiences so far, I kind of disagree with the way Lewis grouped the entire United Kingdom together.  When I got the chance to visit London last October, I was amazed at how quiet the city could be.  Even at rush hour, you would only hear footsteps as everyone kept to themselves.  In Scotland, however, it's rare for you to hail a taxi or enter a pub without a local striking up a conversation with you.  I would say that England is more reactive and Scotland is more multi-active within the United Kingdom itself.  

     Ireland was much different, though.  Most of the local citizens I encountered could be quite rude.  They would quickly mock people I was traveling for their clothes or even for trying to shake their hand.   They meant it in good fun I came to realize, but it was easy to tire of the attitude quickly.  

    Within Scotland, however, local citizens are much more welcome.  As I stated earlier, it's hard to go anywhere without someone talking to you.  Even when you say or ask something dumb, they laugh but are kind to correct you.  They seem so excited to get to know anyone and everyone.  Especially during football games.  Scottish people seem to carry the traits of linear-active planning and being results oriented, but definitely express some of the people-oriented aspects of multi-active cultures.

     Outside of the Lewis Culture Model, there are many other obvious cultural differences.  I mentioned the prawn flavored potato chips earlier, but they also frequently eat meat flavored chips as well in Scotland.  I have tried haggis now, and I can say that it's not too bad.  The one my flatmates and I shared was somewhat spicy.  And there's a national soda of Scotland that's called Irn-Bru.  The rumor is that it's illegal in the United States due to it causing ADD and ADHD... Luckily, it's not one of my favorites.  You never hear anyone say "little" here; it's always a wee bag, or wee sip, or wee drive for example.  There's only one lake in Scotland- all the rest are lochs.  Instead of carry out there is take away, and instead of one-way and round-trip tickets there are singles and returns.  

I really have enjoyed studying here in Scotland.  It's been a truly incredible experience.  But, with it being the Fourth of July, I can say that I'm a little homesick for some homemade southern sweet tea and fireworks.

Hope you all have a safe and wonderful Fourth of July!

Off to Ireland

Yesterday we spent the day in Glasgow and then traveled to Belfast, Northern Ireland in the evening.  We're spending the weekend in Northern Ireland and Ireland.  Today was spent walking around the city, just soaking up the culture.  Tomorrow we are going to work our way towards Dublin and see what's there.  There's definitely a different feel here compared to Scotland.  But I plan on my next post to be on the differences between the two cultures (and yes, I will be applying at least one leadership model).  I'm hoping to gain some more insight from our travels tomorrow before I write that post, however.

Belfast, Northern Ireland

In other news, I'm almost halfway done my study abroad now.  It's going by so quickly! It has been an amazing experience.  I can't believe how much I've gotten to learn from the different people and cultures.  At the same time, though, there's still so much left to do.  We're traveling to Edinburgh next Thursday.  I still have a list of things to do; I want to climb to the top of the Wallace National Monument, go back to Stirling Castle, and just talk to locals a little more.  It's easy to become tired between the anxiety of a new country and just schoolwork in general, but I have to keep going strong to keep getting the most from this trip.  

Almost Halfway Done

I'm almost halfway done my study abroad.  Already.  Time seriously flies by.  I'm starting to get the realization that I can't do everything I thought I could before I go, which is depressing.  But I've had some amazing experiences so I can't complain.  Like this past weekend I took a three day trip around the Highlands and the Isle of Skye.  It was unbelievably beautiful! Here's just a few photos to catch a glimpse:

I've started picking up small habits from living here, too.  They're just small things, like calling apartment flats, budgeting in pounds, and using military time.  That was something interesting that I didn't really know I would face.  Everyone here uses 24 hour time, like 2PM is 1400.  It's kind of a necessity though.  Since Scotland has such a high latitude there is almost twenty hours of daylight.  So sometimes 8PM can be just as bright as 8AM.  

I really do enjoy it in the United Kingdom.  I'm so excited; this Thursday some flatmates and I will be going to Northern Ireland and Ireland for the weekend.  I'm so glad I'll get to see other countries and cultures while I'm here.  And fingers crossed that we'll be back in time on Sunday to go watch the Euro Cup Final.  There's such an atmosphere during the games, it's really incredible.  Hopefully we'll make it back in time.  

I Walk Past a Castle Everyday on My Way to Class

     Today is the last day of classes for my first week.  So far I've found the courses to be very enjoyable.  The work doesn't seem too overwhelming, just a lot of reading to do.  The rain has finally eased up, and now the sun stays up for nineteen hours in a day.  There are so many animals here; swans, rabbits, squirrels, ducks, and birds that I don't even know the names for, all with little babies.  Stirling University is situated in a valley, so on one side the Wallace National Monument watches over the city while on the other side of the horizon is a Munroe, a large mountain.  It is amazing how much I'm gaining from outside the classroom.
      The people are very friendly.  There are about one hundred students from  the United States studying here, and most have been very open to getting to know others.  Even local Scottish people will stop and  talk to you.  In the dorm across the quad there were some German students who arrived the same day as us.  They were on campus for a different reason than us, and then left this morning.  They became good friends with myself and my other flatmates even in this short time, however.  We shared meals, went to town, and even spent an afternoon golfing together.
      There's so much to gain from here, whether it's learning to cook for yourself and your flatmates, taking a glimpse into the Scottish take on philosophy, being taught new languages from patient Germans, or even just appreciating all the beautiful things that are around you.

The Last Leg

I'm at Newark now, and writing this from my iPhone. The mobile version to write blog posts is difficult to use, so I'll keep this short (and excuse my typos). NYC is visible outside my terminal. It's so beautiful. I walked in a circle around terminal A before I found the bus to terminal C. Then I had to take two buses to get here. I tried finding other students but instead found a lady who's from Stirling and going back for a family reunion. After talking to her quite a bit (and some shameless self-promotion for MC), I tried a young man who was also on my Columbus flight. He's going to Edinburgh for a golf trip and he's from OSU. So far I haven't met any University of Stirling students, but people seem friendly. I guess I'll find out who the students are when we land. And seeing NYC lit up at night is the perfect goodbye to the USA.

Just the Beginning...

I'd like to start off by giving a small background of myself, what this blog will be about, and lastly, what's been going on so far.

To begin with, my name is Dani and I'm going to be a Junior at Marietta College this coming fall.  I'm a double major in International Leadership Studies and Business Management, with a minor in Human Resource Management.  I stay pretty busy; I'm involved in Greek Life, play trumpet in the Jazz Band, serve as treasurer of Tau Pi Phi (the Business and Economics Honorary), acted as a Teaching Assistant in the McDonough Leadership Program, took part in the 2011-2012 EIR Program, and will be part of the 2012-2013 EIR Program as well.

Part of the requirement for my Leadership major is an international experience, which can mean studying abroad, taking an international internship, or performing a service project in another country.  This summer I will be studying at the University of Stirling in Scotland, and this experience is what this blog's topic will be.  This will be my second time out of the country; I got the chance to go to London last October for a conference and academic competition.  During my time at the University of Stirling I will be taking a class in Moral Philosophy and another dealing with Religion and Conflict.

Now to what's been happening so far.  Let me begin by saying this: study abroad is hard.  I'm not even there yet but the road to this point has been slightly difficult.  Don't get me wrong, it's not impossible.  Just rather stressful.  There's so much paperwork to finish, so many offices to camp outside of, emails that aren't responded to... At my home school's study abroad office, they set up appointments depending on what step you are at in the process.  I'm pretty sure I haven't gone in order once yet.  I think the form I was supposed to submit first was actually the last one I was able to complete.

But I should add that I stress.  A lot.  So as I'm writing this, I'm surrounded by a mess of visa papers, things to pack, and just other things that need to get done for one reason or another before I leave.  I leave in less than a week.  And I'm a little anxious.  So please, don't get discouraged about studying abroad by what I'm saying now.  If you study or have studied abroad, you'll know this feeling that I'm having right now.  I'll try to describe it by saying is a cocktail of excitement, nervousness, some anxiety, and just a dash of that "I-know-I'm-forgetting-something" feeling.  Just learn to breathe before you start and throughout the process.  Nothing will go exactly like you plan it will.  And that's okay.  Sometimes that leads to new discoveries.  There's always a will left somewhere underneath that huge pile of stress, so there's always a way.

-Dani